I'm moving to Wordpress :) with new Name, New identity, New look and completely new Change :)
Bye bye Blogspot :P
With lots of love,
Shadow
Bye bye Blogspot :P
With lots of love,
Shadow
Monday, October 1, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Getting back the Engergy - I owe a big thanks to the fruit seller friend of mine
I was damn tired.... hectic work at office and a rough journey for 2 hours in bus from office... There was something that made me walk happily though tired..Yes!!! I was going to be with my mom tonight. I will be sleeping with her warmth hugging me... This mere thought was going on in my mind as I was walking....
Those days when I used to walk towards my home, I used to say a hi and have a little chat with all my fellow friends on the way. This person, who sells fruits almost 300 mts from my home was the last person I used to say hi on the way. Everytime I pass by, he asks me if I'm not getting any fruits. He used to select for me the best fruits and I always let him select the fruit for me :) Okay, before I get into today's tale a little flashback :) How we became frens ... I mean me and the Fruit Seller.
The day I started going to market for getting vegetables, I always made sure I got some fruits as well. I used to get things from market and come in cycle with the luggage. One day..sorry night :P while I was walking back from office, I got few vegetables as I had not been to market the previous weekend for some reason. I was walking with a plastic bag full of vegetables. I walked past the fruit vendor when I realised that my plastic bag had torn because of weight and vegetables had already rolled down to road :( I walked back and then this person seeing me, offered a new bag without even me asking for it and helped me with my vegetables. I didnot get anything from him that day but from the next day started telling him a Hi as I pass by :)
From then on, I made sure I got fruits from him. Since, it was summer season, I was getting melons and he always had them but as the season changed, I could not find much seasonal fruits with him. Later on enquiring him, I came to know that he sells just few fruits like, water melons, musk melons, jack fruits and rest of the seasons corn. So, I was his regular customer during summer... rest of the seasons, a regular hi-bye friend :)
Days passed by and once, my marriage was fixed, I was busy over calls while I was walking. Many a times, I missed a hi to that fruit vendor friend of mine... But whenever, I saw him, he had a smile on his face meaning a hi to me..May be he understood my state :P I mean the state wherein we forget the world around and dissolve in the dream world ;) For some reason, I couldnot invite him for my wedding but after wedding once I asked my husband to stop the car while we neared my friend's place and we got a melon from him.. It was summer again...:) He did smile at me and gave a fruit but I doubted if he recognised me... May be because he never expected I would have been married so soon.... I then felt, things have changed a lot in few months and I will be a stranger to the place I belonged to.... Anyway, I started to accept the change .....
Okay.. coming back to my today's tale, I was walking towards the fruit seller.. I was not on call and neither was I in a mood to look around and enjoy the walk like before.. Tiredness had attacked me....
"Hey....come here" A strong voice from behind....
I had bypassed the fruit seller without a Hi :) His voice for some reason gave me energy...
I went to him and smiled...
"Long since seen you...what happened?"
"I'm now married... I don't stay here.. I came today to meet my mom.."
"When did it happen...never knew..."
" Few months back...."
I wanted to remind him that I had once come with my husband and got melon but at that time, I had no words....
"Oh... you look so dull....are you fine?"
"Yeah I'm fine" I replied as I gained energy and my words were becoming so true..yeah I was becoming fine :)
"How beautifully she used to walk by..." He told to his fren standing next to him pointing his hands towards me.. His friend was looking at us with excitment as we spoke :)
"Ok..ok take care... " He didnot wanted to delay my walk...
"okay then bye..."
"Take care"
As I walked to my home, I realised, he never asked me to buy anything from him.. He didnot talk to me in a business motive...How did he miss to sell the corns to me???
It was his business, his living.....
If he had asked me to buy them, I would have got atleast to make him happy but he didnot... His motive of calling me was not business but to know how I was and what happened to me??
I dunno how to express what feel I had in my heart... All I could feel was the same line that I sing in my heart.."A simple smile and Hi can do wonders"
He doesnt know my name, he doesnt know where I come from and what I do.. Perfectly no information about me but my presence in his heart.... I was happy... I was happier..... By the time I reached home and shared this with my mom(sharing like I did months back when I was a spinster), I became the happiest.... :) Sharing means a lot to me and that too to my mom.... My tiredness vanished.... Smile took over and heart felt so light....
He made my day Wonderful :)
Those days when I used to walk towards my home, I used to say a hi and have a little chat with all my fellow friends on the way. This person, who sells fruits almost 300 mts from my home was the last person I used to say hi on the way. Everytime I pass by, he asks me if I'm not getting any fruits. He used to select for me the best fruits and I always let him select the fruit for me :) Okay, before I get into today's tale a little flashback :) How we became frens ... I mean me and the Fruit Seller.
The day I started going to market for getting vegetables, I always made sure I got some fruits as well. I used to get things from market and come in cycle with the luggage. One day..sorry night :P while I was walking back from office, I got few vegetables as I had not been to market the previous weekend for some reason. I was walking with a plastic bag full of vegetables. I walked past the fruit vendor when I realised that my plastic bag had torn because of weight and vegetables had already rolled down to road :( I walked back and then this person seeing me, offered a new bag without even me asking for it and helped me with my vegetables. I didnot get anything from him that day but from the next day started telling him a Hi as I pass by :)
From then on, I made sure I got fruits from him. Since, it was summer season, I was getting melons and he always had them but as the season changed, I could not find much seasonal fruits with him. Later on enquiring him, I came to know that he sells just few fruits like, water melons, musk melons, jack fruits and rest of the seasons corn. So, I was his regular customer during summer... rest of the seasons, a regular hi-bye friend :)
Days passed by and once, my marriage was fixed, I was busy over calls while I was walking. Many a times, I missed a hi to that fruit vendor friend of mine... But whenever, I saw him, he had a smile on his face meaning a hi to me..May be he understood my state :P I mean the state wherein we forget the world around and dissolve in the dream world ;) For some reason, I couldnot invite him for my wedding but after wedding once I asked my husband to stop the car while we neared my friend's place and we got a melon from him.. It was summer again...:) He did smile at me and gave a fruit but I doubted if he recognised me... May be because he never expected I would have been married so soon.... I then felt, things have changed a lot in few months and I will be a stranger to the place I belonged to.... Anyway, I started to accept the change .....
Okay.. coming back to my today's tale, I was walking towards the fruit seller.. I was not on call and neither was I in a mood to look around and enjoy the walk like before.. Tiredness had attacked me....
"Hey....come here" A strong voice from behind....
I had bypassed the fruit seller without a Hi :) His voice for some reason gave me energy...
I went to him and smiled...
"Long since seen you...what happened?"
"I'm now married... I don't stay here.. I came today to meet my mom.."
"When did it happen...never knew..."
" Few months back...."
I wanted to remind him that I had once come with my husband and got melon but at that time, I had no words....
"Oh... you look so dull....are you fine?"
"Yeah I'm fine" I replied as I gained energy and my words were becoming so true..yeah I was becoming fine :)
"How beautifully she used to walk by..." He told to his fren standing next to him pointing his hands towards me.. His friend was looking at us with excitment as we spoke :)
"Ok..ok take care... " He didnot wanted to delay my walk...
"okay then bye..."
"Take care"
As I walked to my home, I realised, he never asked me to buy anything from him.. He didnot talk to me in a business motive...How did he miss to sell the corns to me???
It was his business, his living.....
If he had asked me to buy them, I would have got atleast to make him happy but he didnot... His motive of calling me was not business but to know how I was and what happened to me??
I dunno how to express what feel I had in my heart... All I could feel was the same line that I sing in my heart.."A simple smile and Hi can do wonders"
He doesnt know my name, he doesnt know where I come from and what I do.. Perfectly no information about me but my presence in his heart.... I was happy... I was happier..... By the time I reached home and shared this with my mom(sharing like I did months back when I was a spinster), I became the happiest.... :) Sharing means a lot to me and that too to my mom.... My tiredness vanished.... Smile took over and heart felt so light....
He made my day Wonderful :)
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Living with a STRANGER - Part I
I once cried for no reasons... I thought I was the person with world's most difficulties, but today I realise those were the golden moments of my life....
I know even these situations I now highlight as tough would become my good memories...still I find it difficult to travel.... Lots of twists and turns..... Feeling so lonely though in crowd... mourning inside though people can see me laugh and enjoy.... Now, I don't wanna describe this period as the most worst period but I define it as a period where in I (almost all women) find it most difficult to adjust :)
This is for all men and women who decided to live with a person who their parents decided and whom they have never mingled with before in life :) Living with a stranger....
This lady of my post - Ms. Nova who then becomes Mrs. Stranger is a character who represents all those women folk who have been sharing with me their experiences...
Ms.Nova - fresh out of her college was looking for a job. She was not looking to develop her career neither was she bothered about salary...All she was looking was for a time pass.. :)
Let life move as it wishes, I shall move along was her thought.
She joined a private institution for a data entry job. This job was not relevant to her graduation and neither was she required to be an earning member of the family. Still she joined the concern for the less salary for trainees. Her schedules were really tight and she returned home late regularly. Now, here she had her family support her like a princess... She was fed breakfast by mom, she was picked up and dropped at office by dad and she had her loving brother to make all her wishes come true.
Time to tie knots :) A change in life... Nova was ready for the change....
A sudden surprise: Mr.Stranger's profile reached her inbox while at work. She went through it and by the time she reached home her parents and brother were in a serious discussion. She interupted them as usual with her hi and a smile. Her dad gave her a detailed explanation about the guy and a positive note to accept the proposal. She didnot think much - may be because she didnot bother about it or may be because she felt her comments will be least bothered. The day had come to meet Mr.Stranger. Though with heavy heart she met him and they spoke....
What can strangers talk to each other in a strange situation they have never encountered till then. Anyway they just gave introduction to each other and in few hours the decision was made...
For Nova, that was the first guy she met with a marriage proposal and she had no other options to compare. Surroundings certified him as the best person she could get and his beauty was defined by his heart (Dunno how people see other's heart - that too of a stranger)..Anyway he was a good person indeed. With the new dress, make up, sweets placed and people smiling around pushed her to give a positive response.
This custom of marraige proposal irriates me a lot which makes women a comodity for sale- that too for free of cost and most of the times dowry accompanies intensifying my anger.
Now, Nova didnot think about any other factors truly because of the fact that she lacked the knowledge of the world outside. For her, surroundings always made decisions and so was her marriage. She justified the decision to herself many a times through many means... She started noting down thing she liked about Mr.Stranger and convinced herself for the decision she made. She was not unhappy but she was trying to be happy or convincing herself that she has got the best :)
Most Indian girls going for Arranged Marriages face this stage even if they have strong decisions of their own...
Nova resigned her job once she was engaged and started building her own dream castle :) Phone calls, messages and video chats were her full time work now... As she started interacting with Mr.Stranger, she started realising a lot of variations in the information she received about him. He was planning to settle in India leaving his job at the US. Her dream of flying to US though not expressed to anyone so far broke inside herself making her heart feel heavy. She started with her convincing task again for staying in India. She convinced herself a lot and that dream of hers vanised from the castle. Her dream of higher studies were shattered when Mr.Stranger for some reason diverted her thought as how she cannot manage work at home and studies together.Another dream vanished out of her castle.
There are really countable men who would let his gal's study dream come true. It's not just paying fees or giving the freedom to study that matters here but the moral support and the constant encouragement that is essential. I salute those men who say "Go ahead with your dreams , I'm with you no matter what." Men rarely..very rarely understand women's heart and their dreams.It's not their mistake but, it's the nature almighty designed and those exceptions become the best husbands ever :)
Again, Nova was not bothered about higher education but she somewhere felt like losing something in her life... Anyway Nova was married to Mr.Stranger happily with the blessings and presence of all well wishers.
Little little wishes of hers were replaced by his and she never regretted though her wishes lived deep inside her heart. Every decision made by Mr.Stranger was asked for her opinion initially but always ended with his word. Convincing herself became her fulltime job now. Her dream castle was then replaced by his ideas and decisions with no regrets expressed by Nova.
Now came the twist of her life.... Mr.Stranger had quit his job and was planning to start a Business. He was confident in that task and as always Nova had to nod her head for a YES for the business proposal. The day Mr. Stranger resigned his job, he insisted Nova to find a job and start working. This was a great shock to Nova..She never wanted to work but now she had to find a job for herself. Mr. Stranger was busy with his business plans and work that he had very little time for Nova. She started with her data entry job again. She was becoming busy day by day and her hectic tasks at office were troubling her sleep as well. She would let down tears whenever she thought of her past. Those memorable days when she was a princess... Mr.Stranger was even more held up and many a times was in tension as he faced the negative side of the business. Nova, now started to take up the matured role of a wife pacifying her husband during his hard times. They loved each other too much but most of the times were engaged in little quarrels due to their work tensions.
Apart from the office tension, Nova also had to pass through little house hold issues as well. Most of it were with her Mother in Law who claimed herself to be working a lot for her son and his wife even during the old age. Her MIL was 60+ but she was always active.
Nova was busy last friday at office and reached home late night and had to go to bed without dinner though it was ready in table.
Most of Indian working women face the situation where in they feel hunger to the core but have to skip food just because they do not find a welcoming heart/face. The intention here is not to insult in laws but if it happens to be that, please ignore :)
She gets up on Saturday morning to see her MIL clean the hall show case. Nova never understood the reason for that sudden cleaning because it was already cleaned by her last week. The comment by her MIL "The showcases are to be kept neat and clean. What will guests think of us if we live in this untiday place. 4 of us are living and place is so dusty" made Mr. Stranger talk. He asked Nova what happened and why had this been so ? He was worried about his mother working in dust as she was an asthma patient. Now, what would Nova say or react. Situations which created issues in their life were similar.
Many women face similar scenarios in their married life. There are also things that cannot be expressed outside. There are many silly things that affect married working women a lot more than financial issues and health issues.
Late night works, dinner less sleep and issues at home were affecting her peace since her marriage. Mr.Stranger was also busy. They both were so busy that they found least time for eachother in their married relationship. Nova cried, laughed, enjoyed, danced, sang and talked a lot but all to herself.She started experiencing lonliness to the hardest core. Living seem to be meaningless to her.
She was in search of reasons for living and that was when her surroundings as always started their role play. "When are you planning to have a baby? Don't delay for any reasons.... these days children plan and postpone things affecting their future.. Don't do that.... Give us some good news soon". Now, to add fuel to this fire, her MIL started asking about it. She started telling her tales on pregnancy and inquisitive questions on their plans peeped in between her story telling. Nova started feeling so worse.
Every working women who delay pregnancy for even month or two face this situation. Won't those old ladies realise that time has changed and the generation has come when women work equivalent to their husbands. Now how can they expect a good news so soon without even a peaceful day together? Is it just a task to be completed without slipping SLA? One month after marriage people start coming around with n number of questions and after that numerous advices. Won't they realise for everything to happen, there should be peace of mind and health of physique! Even worse is the sitation when your inlaws take you to a Doctor just to make sure you do not have any health issues related to pregnancy. Most of the times women become the victim for the worse situations like this. These oldies target women at the right time when they are alone and make sure men are not around. Sometimes, there are also men who start questions on this!!! Can you imagine how worse it is to be questioned by your FIL on this topic? Working Women - I pity them!
Nova was back after her busy work that day. Mr.Stranger was out of station which made her MIL to sleep with her for company. Now, here was tired Nova with hunger digging deep in her stomach entering her room. She was refreshing when MIL started her talks about her neighbour's and friend's daughter in laws becoming pregnant so soon. Nova had no other options but to get into bed without dinner with all these talks filling her stomach. MIL didnot stop there and she kept asking questions and requested Nova to make her grandma soon. Nova was so much irritated when MIL demanded to make things fast. Nova could not control anymore and burst out for the first time... "For certain things in life, even your son is responsible. I cannot take the blame all alone." This made her MIL shut and sleep but Nova could no more think about a peaceful sleep. One more sleepless and dinner less night added to Nova's married life journey... Tears wet her pillow and her heart ached for this simple matter.
This is not an exceptional case but this is something that is very common in all Indian homes. Here none can be blamed but people need to adjust and accept the realities and try to adopt the changing situations. For this, I don't blame Nova's MIL as every women expect such good news and for that matter, Nova is now expecting her DIL to tell her this news soon ;) Situations change but people's expectations with respect to life, family and children never.
Days passed by and months. To bring smile to her MIL's face, to make the world around shut and to create herself a reason for living, Nova was now ready... She was expecting a baby in a month's time. The worst part of her pregnancy was that Mr.Stranger was not with her for the past 7 months and she was struggling with her house hold work (thought MIL helped a lot), Office tensions and late night chats with Mr.Stranger. Arrival news of baby was making her happy but she always missed Mr.Stranger and his presence. She felt he would become a stranger to the baby as well. She badly wanted his presence but all he could do in his busy schedule was to call her daily to ask if she was fine. She was on maternity leave now and in 3 weeks time she was admitted in hospital. Her mental pain increased when she missed Mr.Stranger besider her.
The worst is the sitation when you don't have your husband next to you at the time of need. Money does matter but there should be something more than money we value.
Nova was taken into the delivery room when she cried out of pain. Lots of thoughts were going on in her mind until then (When will Mr.Stranger reach, How will the baby be delivered, How are they going to plan future of the baby, how to join work after delivery, etc etc etc). The moment when delivery pain hit her, she lost all thoughts and pain overtook everything. She had nothing in brain or mind but just the pain.... She was shouting with all her energy, She didnot have a hand to hold for reducing her pain.... There were more than 4 women in the room and all were shouting. The room was filled with the sound of pain. Nurses were in and were giving tips to each bed owner. Here came in a nurse near Mrs.Stranger and when she asked her to call Doctor, all she did was leave the place saying "Stay Calm..Nothing to Worry..Keep Pushing...". How could Mrs.Stranger react now? She was worried, tensed and above all the pain... The push from inside, increased her pain. Mrs.Stranger controlled the pain and never gave a chance for the push to burst out as she worried if the baby came out when the doctors or nurses were not around. She kept shouting and crying when came the doctor."Mrs.Stranger .... please push..don't control it...keep pushing.. I'm here to help you.." Her voice gave moral support to Nova but the pain was unbearable. Doctor kept saying.."Please push...please push....don't control..baby will lack oxygen if you control the push..nothing will happen if you push...try to push..."(If at all the nurse had conveyed this properly to Nova, it would have made a little change) Mrs.Stranger gave her maximum but nothing could be done when doctor shouted," Nurse..please take her to the theatre..baby's head is out but we are not able to pull it completely..Mrs.Stranger is exhausted...." Mrs.Stranger shouted hearing this and then, it was all silence when she woke up.... Even now thinking about it Nova screams.. It was not a normal delivery completely and neither was it a complete ceasarian. She experienced both at a time and the pain she underwent, even doctors were surprised how she survived the pain. Nova - Mrs.Stranger then is now a mother.Mother of a boy baby. Mr.Stranger was not in yet.
The worst situation of a women is when they get the worst nurse and doctor for delivery of a baby. Normal delivery is what every women expects but they get very less counselling or advice on how to go about it. Doctors these days go for ceasarian for earning and making their job simple. Few nurses get frustrated with this cry (not all nurses because except the few of them, all others are equivalent to almighty) and they just ignore the feel of the patient. For them, it is natural to have the pain and nothing can be done to avoid it. They forget the fact that those crying women just need words of support and hold. That too for those women who face this for the very first time, situation is pathetic.
Life's wonderful and valuable moment for a women is when she becomes a mom. The pain, the tolerance and the pressure of life till then finds a great meaning...Living becomes meaningful thereafter:)
Mrs.Stranger was in her maternity leave and after first 4 months came Mr.Stranger to touch his baby for the first time. Tears rolled down his cheeks when he held his baby in hand. Love was still present in his eyes but his busy schedules had covered the love and made Mrs.Stranger feel so worse being alone. Mrs.Stranger was living with her mother for the first six months and then moved to her in laws house after that. Mr.Stranger had then moved to the US to setup his new business assuring to take Mrs.Stranger and kid with him in few months time. Those few months became few years when Mrs.Stranger had a girl and then the period increased. Mrs.Stranger got used to living without Mr.Stranger in the past 6 years. Mrs.Stranger was still a working women supporting Mr.Stranger. Mrs.Stranger's children never missed their dad but Nova missed Mr.Stranger all through her journey whether it be good time or bad... Children grew up healthy and good but to them their dad was a Stranger.... Poor isn't it ?
Many of the families where husbands work abroad for earning face this situation. They have very less interaction with their children and for children they become their ATM machines. Wife for this matter becomes just a machine to take care of children and manage money. Women miss a partner to share things in person, they miss a hold for moral strength, they miss the best time of their lives. They miss the warmth of a hug from their soulmate, the sweetness of the kiss and the affection of the touch that can wipe the tears. As life moves on, missing in life increases. It's not jus marrying, having kids, earning and taking care of kids that matter.
8 years passed by and now Nova and Mr.Stranger couldnot continue being apart. Kids have grown up and their attachment to Mr.Stranger worrried them. Mrs.Stranger could not quit her job as well. Times went on and this time it was Mrs.Stranger who wanted to work and didnot accept to join Mr.Stranger without a job ready there. Things had changed a lot these years..Nova's attitude and wishes changed.
Every women once passing through certain unpredicted situations in life, change themselves. They improve their confidence, hardworking level and decrease their dependency on anything for that matter.
After working on the ideas for more than an year, Mrs.Stranger and kids had their US Visa stamped. Mrs.Stranger joined Mr.Stranger with their kids and their routine became hectic that they still didnot find much time for eachother. All that they planned was a vacation to India every year for 2 weeks when Nova met her mother and ofcourse her in laws. But now, issues with them were negligible and time spent there was memorable. Two weeks in a year was the only best time with Mr.Stranger Nova had because rest were filled with office tensions and house hold tasks. Mrs.Stranger no more complained to work or do any house hold tasks as she realised that it was her duty by then.
Just looking back at her life through the window pane at her house at US made her realise that her Life was so colourful. She saw her daughter in law walking towards the gate and then remebered her married life when tears filled her eyes. Years have passed by and now she realised at her late age that she was a princess at her mom's place and then for this stranger she left her kingdom :) Still she smiled.
Living with this stranger was really worth when she felt a hand on her shoulders to help her get up from her chair.
Every women leave behind their kingdom where they were the princess just to live with a stranger but with no regrets at the end because that Stranger becomes everything for her and she is never left alone. Living with stranger finds a meaning when you get a hold at life's most needed situations.
Situations we consider tough now becomes our sweet memories and we will long to get those moments back once more.... That is Life
I know even these situations I now highlight as tough would become my good memories...still I find it difficult to travel.... Lots of twists and turns..... Feeling so lonely though in crowd... mourning inside though people can see me laugh and enjoy.... Now, I don't wanna describe this period as the most worst period but I define it as a period where in I (almost all women) find it most difficult to adjust :)
This is for all men and women who decided to live with a person who their parents decided and whom they have never mingled with before in life :) Living with a stranger....
This lady of my post - Ms. Nova who then becomes Mrs. Stranger is a character who represents all those women folk who have been sharing with me their experiences...
Ms.Nova - fresh out of her college was looking for a job. She was not looking to develop her career neither was she bothered about salary...All she was looking was for a time pass.. :)
Let life move as it wishes, I shall move along was her thought.
She joined a private institution for a data entry job. This job was not relevant to her graduation and neither was she required to be an earning member of the family. Still she joined the concern for the less salary for trainees. Her schedules were really tight and she returned home late regularly. Now, here she had her family support her like a princess... She was fed breakfast by mom, she was picked up and dropped at office by dad and she had her loving brother to make all her wishes come true.
Time to tie knots :) A change in life... Nova was ready for the change....
A sudden surprise: Mr.Stranger's profile reached her inbox while at work. She went through it and by the time she reached home her parents and brother were in a serious discussion. She interupted them as usual with her hi and a smile. Her dad gave her a detailed explanation about the guy and a positive note to accept the proposal. She didnot think much - may be because she didnot bother about it or may be because she felt her comments will be least bothered. The day had come to meet Mr.Stranger. Though with heavy heart she met him and they spoke....
What can strangers talk to each other in a strange situation they have never encountered till then. Anyway they just gave introduction to each other and in few hours the decision was made...
For Nova, that was the first guy she met with a marriage proposal and she had no other options to compare. Surroundings certified him as the best person she could get and his beauty was defined by his heart (Dunno how people see other's heart - that too of a stranger)..Anyway he was a good person indeed. With the new dress, make up, sweets placed and people smiling around pushed her to give a positive response.
This custom of marraige proposal irriates me a lot which makes women a comodity for sale- that too for free of cost and most of the times dowry accompanies intensifying my anger.
Now, Nova didnot think about any other factors truly because of the fact that she lacked the knowledge of the world outside. For her, surroundings always made decisions and so was her marriage. She justified the decision to herself many a times through many means... She started noting down thing she liked about Mr.Stranger and convinced herself for the decision she made. She was not unhappy but she was trying to be happy or convincing herself that she has got the best :)
Most Indian girls going for Arranged Marriages face this stage even if they have strong decisions of their own...
Nova resigned her job once she was engaged and started building her own dream castle :) Phone calls, messages and video chats were her full time work now... As she started interacting with Mr.Stranger, she started realising a lot of variations in the information she received about him. He was planning to settle in India leaving his job at the US. Her dream of flying to US though not expressed to anyone so far broke inside herself making her heart feel heavy. She started with her convincing task again for staying in India. She convinced herself a lot and that dream of hers vanised from the castle. Her dream of higher studies were shattered when Mr.Stranger for some reason diverted her thought as how she cannot manage work at home and studies together.Another dream vanished out of her castle.
There are really countable men who would let his gal's study dream come true. It's not just paying fees or giving the freedom to study that matters here but the moral support and the constant encouragement that is essential. I salute those men who say "Go ahead with your dreams , I'm with you no matter what." Men rarely..very rarely understand women's heart and their dreams.It's not their mistake but, it's the nature almighty designed and those exceptions become the best husbands ever :)
Again, Nova was not bothered about higher education but she somewhere felt like losing something in her life... Anyway Nova was married to Mr.Stranger happily with the blessings and presence of all well wishers.
Little little wishes of hers were replaced by his and she never regretted though her wishes lived deep inside her heart. Every decision made by Mr.Stranger was asked for her opinion initially but always ended with his word. Convincing herself became her fulltime job now. Her dream castle was then replaced by his ideas and decisions with no regrets expressed by Nova.
Now came the twist of her life.... Mr.Stranger had quit his job and was planning to start a Business. He was confident in that task and as always Nova had to nod her head for a YES for the business proposal. The day Mr. Stranger resigned his job, he insisted Nova to find a job and start working. This was a great shock to Nova..She never wanted to work but now she had to find a job for herself. Mr. Stranger was busy with his business plans and work that he had very little time for Nova. She started with her data entry job again. She was becoming busy day by day and her hectic tasks at office were troubling her sleep as well. She would let down tears whenever she thought of her past. Those memorable days when she was a princess... Mr.Stranger was even more held up and many a times was in tension as he faced the negative side of the business. Nova, now started to take up the matured role of a wife pacifying her husband during his hard times. They loved each other too much but most of the times were engaged in little quarrels due to their work tensions.
Apart from the office tension, Nova also had to pass through little house hold issues as well. Most of it were with her Mother in Law who claimed herself to be working a lot for her son and his wife even during the old age. Her MIL was 60+ but she was always active.
Nova was busy last friday at office and reached home late night and had to go to bed without dinner though it was ready in table.
Most of Indian working women face the situation where in they feel hunger to the core but have to skip food just because they do not find a welcoming heart/face. The intention here is not to insult in laws but if it happens to be that, please ignore :)
She gets up on Saturday morning to see her MIL clean the hall show case. Nova never understood the reason for that sudden cleaning because it was already cleaned by her last week. The comment by her MIL "The showcases are to be kept neat and clean. What will guests think of us if we live in this untiday place. 4 of us are living and place is so dusty" made Mr. Stranger talk. He asked Nova what happened and why had this been so ? He was worried about his mother working in dust as she was an asthma patient. Now, what would Nova say or react. Situations which created issues in their life were similar.
Many women face similar scenarios in their married life. There are also things that cannot be expressed outside. There are many silly things that affect married working women a lot more than financial issues and health issues.
Late night works, dinner less sleep and issues at home were affecting her peace since her marriage. Mr.Stranger was also busy. They both were so busy that they found least time for eachother in their married relationship. Nova cried, laughed, enjoyed, danced, sang and talked a lot but all to herself.She started experiencing lonliness to the hardest core. Living seem to be meaningless to her.
She was in search of reasons for living and that was when her surroundings as always started their role play. "When are you planning to have a baby? Don't delay for any reasons.... these days children plan and postpone things affecting their future.. Don't do that.... Give us some good news soon". Now, to add fuel to this fire, her MIL started asking about it. She started telling her tales on pregnancy and inquisitive questions on their plans peeped in between her story telling. Nova started feeling so worse.
Every working women who delay pregnancy for even month or two face this situation. Won't those old ladies realise that time has changed and the generation has come when women work equivalent to their husbands. Now how can they expect a good news so soon without even a peaceful day together? Is it just a task to be completed without slipping SLA? One month after marriage people start coming around with n number of questions and after that numerous advices. Won't they realise for everything to happen, there should be peace of mind and health of physique! Even worse is the sitation when your inlaws take you to a Doctor just to make sure you do not have any health issues related to pregnancy. Most of the times women become the victim for the worse situations like this. These oldies target women at the right time when they are alone and make sure men are not around. Sometimes, there are also men who start questions on this!!! Can you imagine how worse it is to be questioned by your FIL on this topic? Working Women - I pity them!
Nova was back after her busy work that day. Mr.Stranger was out of station which made her MIL to sleep with her for company. Now, here was tired Nova with hunger digging deep in her stomach entering her room. She was refreshing when MIL started her talks about her neighbour's and friend's daughter in laws becoming pregnant so soon. Nova had no other options but to get into bed without dinner with all these talks filling her stomach. MIL didnot stop there and she kept asking questions and requested Nova to make her grandma soon. Nova was so much irritated when MIL demanded to make things fast. Nova could not control anymore and burst out for the first time... "For certain things in life, even your son is responsible. I cannot take the blame all alone." This made her MIL shut and sleep but Nova could no more think about a peaceful sleep. One more sleepless and dinner less night added to Nova's married life journey... Tears wet her pillow and her heart ached for this simple matter.
This is not an exceptional case but this is something that is very common in all Indian homes. Here none can be blamed but people need to adjust and accept the realities and try to adopt the changing situations. For this, I don't blame Nova's MIL as every women expect such good news and for that matter, Nova is now expecting her DIL to tell her this news soon ;) Situations change but people's expectations with respect to life, family and children never.
Days passed by and months. To bring smile to her MIL's face, to make the world around shut and to create herself a reason for living, Nova was now ready... She was expecting a baby in a month's time. The worst part of her pregnancy was that Mr.Stranger was not with her for the past 7 months and she was struggling with her house hold work (thought MIL helped a lot), Office tensions and late night chats with Mr.Stranger. Arrival news of baby was making her happy but she always missed Mr.Stranger and his presence. She felt he would become a stranger to the baby as well. She badly wanted his presence but all he could do in his busy schedule was to call her daily to ask if she was fine. She was on maternity leave now and in 3 weeks time she was admitted in hospital. Her mental pain increased when she missed Mr.Stranger besider her.
The worst is the sitation when you don't have your husband next to you at the time of need. Money does matter but there should be something more than money we value.
Nova was taken into the delivery room when she cried out of pain. Lots of thoughts were going on in her mind until then (When will Mr.Stranger reach, How will the baby be delivered, How are they going to plan future of the baby, how to join work after delivery, etc etc etc). The moment when delivery pain hit her, she lost all thoughts and pain overtook everything. She had nothing in brain or mind but just the pain.... She was shouting with all her energy, She didnot have a hand to hold for reducing her pain.... There were more than 4 women in the room and all were shouting. The room was filled with the sound of pain. Nurses were in and were giving tips to each bed owner. Here came in a nurse near Mrs.Stranger and when she asked her to call Doctor, all she did was leave the place saying "Stay Calm..Nothing to Worry..Keep Pushing...". How could Mrs.Stranger react now? She was worried, tensed and above all the pain... The push from inside, increased her pain. Mrs.Stranger controlled the pain and never gave a chance for the push to burst out as she worried if the baby came out when the doctors or nurses were not around. She kept shouting and crying when came the doctor."Mrs.Stranger .... please push..don't control it...keep pushing.. I'm here to help you.." Her voice gave moral support to Nova but the pain was unbearable. Doctor kept saying.."Please push...please push....don't control..baby will lack oxygen if you control the push..nothing will happen if you push...try to push..."(If at all the nurse had conveyed this properly to Nova, it would have made a little change) Mrs.Stranger gave her maximum but nothing could be done when doctor shouted," Nurse..please take her to the theatre..baby's head is out but we are not able to pull it completely..Mrs.Stranger is exhausted...." Mrs.Stranger shouted hearing this and then, it was all silence when she woke up.... Even now thinking about it Nova screams.. It was not a normal delivery completely and neither was it a complete ceasarian. She experienced both at a time and the pain she underwent, even doctors were surprised how she survived the pain. Nova - Mrs.Stranger then is now a mother.Mother of a boy baby. Mr.Stranger was not in yet.
The worst situation of a women is when they get the worst nurse and doctor for delivery of a baby. Normal delivery is what every women expects but they get very less counselling or advice on how to go about it. Doctors these days go for ceasarian for earning and making their job simple. Few nurses get frustrated with this cry (not all nurses because except the few of them, all others are equivalent to almighty) and they just ignore the feel of the patient. For them, it is natural to have the pain and nothing can be done to avoid it. They forget the fact that those crying women just need words of support and hold. That too for those women who face this for the very first time, situation is pathetic.
Life's wonderful and valuable moment for a women is when she becomes a mom. The pain, the tolerance and the pressure of life till then finds a great meaning...Living becomes meaningful thereafter:)
Mrs.Stranger was in her maternity leave and after first 4 months came Mr.Stranger to touch his baby for the first time. Tears rolled down his cheeks when he held his baby in hand. Love was still present in his eyes but his busy schedules had covered the love and made Mrs.Stranger feel so worse being alone. Mrs.Stranger was living with her mother for the first six months and then moved to her in laws house after that. Mr.Stranger had then moved to the US to setup his new business assuring to take Mrs.Stranger and kid with him in few months time. Those few months became few years when Mrs.Stranger had a girl and then the period increased. Mrs.Stranger got used to living without Mr.Stranger in the past 6 years. Mrs.Stranger was still a working women supporting Mr.Stranger. Mrs.Stranger's children never missed their dad but Nova missed Mr.Stranger all through her journey whether it be good time or bad... Children grew up healthy and good but to them their dad was a Stranger.... Poor isn't it ?
Many of the families where husbands work abroad for earning face this situation. They have very less interaction with their children and for children they become their ATM machines. Wife for this matter becomes just a machine to take care of children and manage money. Women miss a partner to share things in person, they miss a hold for moral strength, they miss the best time of their lives. They miss the warmth of a hug from their soulmate, the sweetness of the kiss and the affection of the touch that can wipe the tears. As life moves on, missing in life increases. It's not jus marrying, having kids, earning and taking care of kids that matter.
8 years passed by and now Nova and Mr.Stranger couldnot continue being apart. Kids have grown up and their attachment to Mr.Stranger worrried them. Mrs.Stranger could not quit her job as well. Times went on and this time it was Mrs.Stranger who wanted to work and didnot accept to join Mr.Stranger without a job ready there. Things had changed a lot these years..Nova's attitude and wishes changed.
Every women once passing through certain unpredicted situations in life, change themselves. They improve their confidence, hardworking level and decrease their dependency on anything for that matter.
After working on the ideas for more than an year, Mrs.Stranger and kids had their US Visa stamped. Mrs.Stranger joined Mr.Stranger with their kids and their routine became hectic that they still didnot find much time for eachother. All that they planned was a vacation to India every year for 2 weeks when Nova met her mother and ofcourse her in laws. But now, issues with them were negligible and time spent there was memorable. Two weeks in a year was the only best time with Mr.Stranger Nova had because rest were filled with office tensions and house hold tasks. Mrs.Stranger no more complained to work or do any house hold tasks as she realised that it was her duty by then.
Just looking back at her life through the window pane at her house at US made her realise that her Life was so colourful. She saw her daughter in law walking towards the gate and then remebered her married life when tears filled her eyes. Years have passed by and now she realised at her late age that she was a princess at her mom's place and then for this stranger she left her kingdom :) Still she smiled.
Living with this stranger was really worth when she felt a hand on her shoulders to help her get up from her chair.
Every women leave behind their kingdom where they were the princess just to live with a stranger but with no regrets at the end because that Stranger becomes everything for her and she is never left alone. Living with stranger finds a meaning when you get a hold at life's most needed situations.
Situations we consider tough now becomes our sweet memories and we will long to get those moments back once more.... That is Life
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
BreakUp
I was on video chat with my would be husband.... I was smiling, I was typing fast, I was curious to know a lot of things but a small hesitation in mind.. Am I acting to myself?
What about the soul who shared himself with me? The soul who once gave me shoulders when I was in sorrow, gave me a hold when I was alone and who was there to encourage me in all that I did?
Am I cheating him? Am I cheating myself or have I been cheated????
There is no clue....
I loved him a lot, he too did the same
I still love him for what he is and I'm sure I live in his heart alive...
What happened between us??? Who came in???
I never wanted a breakup and neither did he but at one point of life, somewhere we felt it was not between us..Now, here I don't wanna say that "it" I refer to is LOVE because we still love eachother the same :)
Now here is that peculiar situation where in others don't see what actually happens and the concerned souls don't understand how the situation changes...
I read his heart well and so did he mine. We loved eachother with no expectation other than being together forever.
It was not a STORM but there was complete destruciton.... No sign of life seen anywhere..not even a ray of hope..Struggles for life went in vain..just the tears remained.....
Was it a Storm?
No.
Was it a Serial Killing?
No..
Then?How come there exist No Life?
Silence...... Words are in vain at this stage..
Why?
Everything has gone and words cannot bring them back to life..It's gone..... The life has ended... Now, it's all fresh.... There is nothing left to take birth like a pheonix...
Hmmmm....Is his soul around?
Yes
Hers?
Yes..
Oh... No end to them?
Their souls still live..their love still exists... but Life has changed.... It's completely different...
Still when she is in sorrow, her mobile dials his number and whenever he thinks about her, he receives her call..... Coincidence has started to rule their love now...
Whenever their thoughts run back to that wild situation, their eyes let down tears and lips widen for a smile.... :) It's not sorrow nor anger but it's the Love that is still alive in them... "Pure Love"
They are not angry, they are not sad, they are not worried but in their happy moments, they miss their best person beside and hence a tear accompanies them giving little pain in heart.... But their memories remove those pains making them proceed with a smile :) They didnot fail by giving up but they have WON... The best Victory!
(When for the world it's a Break up for the loving souls its a Victory of their true Love)
- Every person who has given up their love would feel the essence of this writeup :)
What about the soul who shared himself with me? The soul who once gave me shoulders when I was in sorrow, gave me a hold when I was alone and who was there to encourage me in all that I did?
Am I cheating him? Am I cheating myself or have I been cheated????
There is no clue....
I loved him a lot, he too did the same
I still love him for what he is and I'm sure I live in his heart alive...
What happened between us??? Who came in???
I never wanted a breakup and neither did he but at one point of life, somewhere we felt it was not between us..Now, here I don't wanna say that "it" I refer to is LOVE because we still love eachother the same :)
Now here is that peculiar situation where in others don't see what actually happens and the concerned souls don't understand how the situation changes...
I read his heart well and so did he mine. We loved eachother with no expectation other than being together forever.
It was not a STORM but there was complete destruciton.... No sign of life seen anywhere..not even a ray of hope..Struggles for life went in vain..just the tears remained.....
Was it a Storm?
No.
Was it a Serial Killing?
No..
Then?How come there exist No Life?
Silence...... Words are in vain at this stage..
Why?
Everything has gone and words cannot bring them back to life..It's gone..... The life has ended... Now, it's all fresh.... There is nothing left to take birth like a pheonix...
Hmmmm....Is his soul around?
Yes
Hers?
Yes..
Oh... No end to them?
Their souls still live..their love still exists... but Life has changed.... It's completely different...
Still when she is in sorrow, her mobile dials his number and whenever he thinks about her, he receives her call..... Coincidence has started to rule their love now...
Whenever their thoughts run back to that wild situation, their eyes let down tears and lips widen for a smile.... :) It's not sorrow nor anger but it's the Love that is still alive in them... "Pure Love"
They are not angry, they are not sad, they are not worried but in their happy moments, they miss their best person beside and hence a tear accompanies them giving little pain in heart.... But their memories remove those pains making them proceed with a smile :) They didnot fail by giving up but they have WON... The best Victory!
(When for the world it's a Break up for the loving souls its a Victory of their true Love)
- Every person who has given up their love would feel the essence of this writeup :)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
New Entry into my old blog :)
Was I busy???
Yes
At home or office?
both
ha ha ha...Really
Yes :(
Sad?
No
Then?
hmmmm.....
Tired?
Yes...
Physically or Menatally?
both!
Reason?
In Search
Away from this spot for so long....nothing to scribble?
No..lots to..
Then why this gap?
Starting trouble....
Waiting for a spark?
YES ! Exactly... :)
Great....got it?
Yes...
Gonna continue the half written topic or new one???
New begining :)
Nice...Topic?
Anything relevant to real life :)
What were you then waiting for till now?
THIS PUSH!
Oh...Then go ahead... :) All the Best :)
Thank you :)
Yes
At home or office?
both
ha ha ha...Really
Yes :(
Sad?
No
Then?
hmmmm.....
Tired?
Yes...
Physically or Menatally?
both!
Reason?
In Search
Away from this spot for so long....nothing to scribble?
No..lots to..
Then why this gap?
Starting trouble....
Waiting for a spark?
YES ! Exactly... :)
Great....got it?
Yes...
Gonna continue the half written topic or new one???
New begining :)
Nice...Topic?
Anything relevant to real life :)
What were you then waiting for till now?
THIS PUSH!
Oh...Then go ahead... :) All the Best :)
Thank you :)
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