I'm in Heaven

Saw his wet eyes for the first time .................

He was not sad, he was not in pain and neither was he in any stress but his eyes were wet....It was the tears of love,affection and care.....I have many times felt his heart crying but never have seen tears in his eyes like today...

Tears were waiting at the verge of my eyes but came down through his eyes........Those tears were mine....He had taken those loving tears of mine into himself and let them out smiling...

Love.........Love........... Completely Loving moments....

It was not the first time we met but will it be the last time was our concern, our worry and the reason for our tears.........

Will it be our last meet????

This thought made us little more closer and the clock stayed still in our hearts for those beautiful moments we spent together.....

It was heaven..Just YOU and ME playing with our emotions......

I'm lost in heaven now with our memories ....

People! Don't rescue me and bring back to reality...Wanna njoy with him and his memories in heaven........

Move Slowly

Loneliness Haunts !!!

Yes Loneliness which I enjoyed once is now haunting me and my thoughts.... It's hell to live amidst a big crowd with loneliness over-ruling your emotions!
I wish...
You understand my emotions completely though I fail to understand yours at times
I wish...
You be the same to me though you feel some change in me
I wish...
You be mine..always and forever though I know one day, even you will leave me alone...

I understand that is life still I expect..............
I expect because its YOU....

I don't blame you cos it is I, who changed...
I can't take the blame myself cos I never knew the change until saw tears in your eyes cos of me...
Now, when you point out my change,

I realise that I'm walking over a thin rope of hope that you will not leave me,
With the burning furnace of angry friends who misunderstood me below,
And
Thunder Storm relatives blaming for certain decisions of mine from above....

I can't fall down neither can I fly above.. All I can do is walk slowly and carefully on the thin rope of hope ....
The rope is 100% strong, still my heart goes numb when it tilts as I proceed...

It doesn't pain/ hurt me,
But every time it tilts....
I take a rebirth!!!!!!!!!!!!
I face death and come back to life....

This feel is much more painful than death.....................

Fake World you Murdered Me !!!

World,

I believed you but now I see your fake face smiling at me....

Today I regret for the decision I took in my life.... I'm not worrying that the decision I took would spoil me but the reason why I took that decision no more prevails :(

Now, the meaning behind the decision I took had vanished and I'm left alone again with the same blame on me.... I'm sailing in the same boat with no change in the sailing though I have taken the route you people insisted me to...

The wind blow is the same, the rowing is same and the boat is also the same but the sailors have changed.... Still no change in sailing....

Now people!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me why you insisted me to change the direction I took?

You have no reasons to tell me and you remain silent..no support from you too .... Then why the hell did you ask me to take the route that now I'm sailing through?

It was you who insisted me, rather compelled me and now you show your fake face again!

Enough !!!

Cant bear it anymore....

Thanks for all stupid directions(you gave) I took just trusting your fake smiles..

Just to ensure that smile always stayed on your faces I took the medicine you gave and now I die of that silent poison!

Good Bye you Fake World!!!

I'm Dead..............................

I'm HIM

Today evening I was walking past the church road and unlike all days there was a very big crowd on the road...There were children with balloons, couples walking with smiling faces and there were the oldies who looked so happy... It was not Christmas but there was some celebration going on in the church...

I was missing him today badly :(

As I walked passed, there came out a couple walking...I could see some red balloons behind that man..Ha ha ha..He was having a couple of red balloons and was holding his hand behind..may be to avoid me seeing ;) Sometimes elders don't accept the kid in them and that is when these kind of hiding happens :) But there was one person in my life who whole heartily expressed the kid in him.... If he was here now, he would have held the balloons so high enjoying like a kid and would not have least bothered about the world around commenting....

I missed a childish friend who got me balloons whenever I wished one, least bothering about the fact I was 22 and he 27 added :) I miss you :((((((((

I walked little further... Again a couple walked by me...The man was wearing so colourful shirt and a jean like a young man though he was more than fifty...One look at his face, makes it clear he crossed fifty, years back.The lady with him was in a traditional silk saree.Though the saree was so bright and glittering, my eyes were on that man's shirt...There was a person who was fifty and who used to wear the same kind of colourful shirt with jean but there was a difference...His looks never revealed his age...

I missed the young smart person in my life who sometimes made me feel dressing up and attitude defines or affects ones personality.He looked just few years elder than me though he started his journey more than 2 decades since I started :) I miss you :(((((((((

I miss him very badly today..Not cos I was walking alone, not cos I was drowning in problems but because he is the ONLY person I have seen with the attitude that was always aligned with mine...

May be his attitude influenced and had overwritten mine :) .......Who knows...

But again there was a difference, me being a gal in this Indian society restricted me to open up like he did.

He is not my GOD, he is not my LOVE and he is not my LIFE

But,

I'm his BLOOD, I'm his LIFE and I'm HIM

I LOVE HIM....

He is my silent Inspiration,

He is my Strength,

And

He is my DAD...

I'm HIM !!!

New Born Love - Chapter Seven

" Dear .... ,

Due to some personal reasons, I wont be able to make it to office today and tomorrow. For

1. .....you can contact... "Ms.X"
2......you can contact... "Mr.Y"
3......you can contact... "Ms.Z"
I will be available over phone in case of emergency.
Regards,

Shadow "

Started the day with this piece of mail to my supervisors from my PC at home early in the morning. I got up and was getting ready to office ;) I intimated mom that I will be taking the second shift bus today. So, my mom and sister left home before I did. Then, after confirmation over call, I stepped outside our campus.

Should I say coincidence??? It was my sister who noticed it later in the evening that we both were in almost a matching color attire...

Our first target was a famous temple which I've been thinking to visit from the day I started going to college.As planned we executed it.. Smell of the agarbhathis and sandal.. people with fresh faces walking in a slow pace.. lamps were lit near the idols ... we both moved in and followed the general procedure in and then sat down on the floor just to get the feel of the Super Power.. Great time together....

We then stepped out... the lane outside temple now had ladies selling fresh Jasmine flowers.. Sometimes jasmine flowers tied almost as long as the length of the hair looks good ;) It was then I regretted for shortening my hair :(

We were then thinking what next.... as we moved on, we had my favourite straweberry milk shake :) There was then no other plans of roaming in the metropolitan city in hot sun...Our next target was dear sisters place :) Half a day left and unplanned time together :)

Silence,little chat about the things that happened in our lives,album sharing and again it was silence when we found some time together alone... It was lunch time then...My mom had prepared my favourite dishes and packed for my lunch.. Shared it with him together :) Later came in his (our) mom with her own special iems for us.. lunch was so heavy..could not deny when it was her love she served :)

Time passed by and I got call from home as always and then I realised simple lies in this relationship adds a special flavour ;)

Photo session which was the proof for this day remained in our hearts :) had to start home after spending some lovely time with his(our) family... Enquiries about my location and time I would reach home continuously added little tension and fear in that lovely situation but these little tensions made it memorable :)


He dropped me at my home and spent sometime with my family too :) had dinner together and left with a promise of making his presence at home the next day !!!

The next day was our officially granted time together :)))))))))))))))

Little secrets , little emotions, Little spice, little fragrance and little smiles made my day memorable :)

Hot Yummy Pizza

Mr.Edward was our guest today. Client Visit was planned a week back and today our Client Mr.Edward was joining us for a tea break.
We , for a change got into the Pizza Hut near by our office premises than our usual Saravana Bhavan in our Campus. We ordered for Pizzas and were waiting for delivey on a table .

We were four in our team and Mr.Edward made it five today :)

Ed was over call outside the Pizza Hut and was looking at us through the glass door.Hot Pizzas were placed in our table in next few minutes and we decided to start with it as Ed joined us. The moment we were about to start, Ed got a call again and asked us to continue .

I , as always , unlike those earlier official days (When I joined as Trainee), took a piece of pizza in my hand and started having it. Ms.Pooja , the only gal in our team took the fork and knife placed on the table .She started struggling with it to get a very tiny piece of pizza clinged to her fork ;)

Once in my Maths class there was an intersting question shooted to test our concentration . It was regarding partitioning of Pizzas equally and people shouted we can cut it radially (Mathemarics Brain U see ;)) But this question was not to test our Maths but to test our thought proces in all anlges :)
Yes!
Can we share Pizza equally by cutting it Radially??? One might get the base bread and one would get the yummy toppings... So , its not logical to do it that way ....

In case of Pizzas... Why fork??

Jus got this story in between to explain that Pizza taken as bits will not give you the exact taste of it..It should be taken along with the tomato sauce,cheese added and all the exra toppings :)Hmmmmmm

Yummy!!!!

Coming to our story, Pooja was mainting a smile as she was having it and she made sure her facial expression was not awkward when she was struggling to cut the pizza ;)


Also she took care not to make noise while was cutting it
(knife and plate).


Ed was lookin at Pooja as she was having and came fast to her as he disconnected his call.






He came near her and told "You people are so funny.. you have rice with your hand but using fork for Pizza????"

Our team was looking at him and he gave a smile back and took his seat . There were two things that were going on in my mind .

1. Thank God I was not using fork and knife for pizza :)
2. They are great who see their comfort rather than the silly show offs ;)

Ed was correct when he pointed it out..we were so silly .. so funny ....

There are many silly things that we do just for the sake of show offs rather than our comfort .

I bow to those who go the other way ...

Taking a break now... Wanna have a Pizzaaaaaaaaa..... Yummy!!!!!
________________________________________________________________


Courtesy :
Location : Saravana Bhavan
Time : Breakfast Hour
Story : Friend who was a part of the tea break ;)
*** Its based on a true story but characters may be different :)

The Special Call

After nearly a year.... the call from one corner of the world hit my cell phone...

"Hello"
"Who is this?” I enquired

I was expecting a call but that was from the other corner ;-)
"Hey don't you know me?” the voice was so close to my heart.

Who else can so strongly and closely call me with assurance that I will not ask who again.... ;-)?

Yes!!! At last I got the call from the soul I consider my sister, my fren, my well wisher and above all a practical advisor ;-) Time has passed by and things around us have changed but our hearts remain the same though separated by distance... more than an hour of talk - I mean sharing and then to my surprise there were two more fellows who joined the call from two other locations.
It was not just a call that connected four people around the world but it was complete hours of sharing from heart!

Farewell is not always happy ones but moving forward always makes us happy
Yes! A step forward in our journey of life gives us happiness but
Ironically, we have to bid farewell as we keep moving :-)

I have been bidding farewell to my close ones in the past one year and now had reached a point wherein I had none around close to my heart - who would understand the exact
Rhythm of My Heart.

By this time, I had controlled bringing people close to my heart cos I could not bear the pain of missing close ones :-(

Today, when I was entering a new phase in my life, when I had lots to share, when I wanted my dears to know things happening in my life and when I wanted to know their life stories -I got

THE call : The Special Call

All my sweethearts were on call :-)
Never realized I was in India and it was un time in India until my sister came down to the road I was walking and talking over call to shout at me! I had to get back home to have my dinner alone but was so happy to have dinner with these three idiots of mine :-) I cannot explain the exact feel that held all four of us so long over call ...

We were not siblings, we were not class mates and neither were we neighbors..... We were once "Just Project Mates" and then we became "Just Frens" and later , in course of time , dunno when exactly but each one of us became an inevitable part of each other’s life! May be we didn’t often find time for each of us amidst our other commitments but even after ages when we talk, the feel remains the same :-)

We were then , not “Just Frens” as I mentioned earlier but
We were holding a relationship that was bonded by
TRUE LOVE !

Nothing more in words would make it better!
As I keep explaining, the essence is getting lost but
As I keep thinking about US , I keep explaining....

Like in SPRING our relationship sprouted and one by one we became closer and flourished but as the AUTUMN approached,

the leaves were shedding one by one....
Now again, the spring has touched our hearts :-)

I know Autumn will come again but there is Spring coming again!
Who cares about the dry summer and the ice cold idle winter in between,
when all we want is the fresh Spring touching our lives again to rejuvenate us in all sense !

It was complete mixture of all emotions...Thanks to technology that held Denver,London,France and India on a single line for more than the duration I spent in my exam hall ;-) The world is a sphere and we will meet again together in person with the same love in our hearts :-) Love you dears a lot :-)

How long will the bubble last???

NO Idea ! But till it vanishes, it remains colourful and fresh .

New Born Love - Chapter Six

Now things were clear and the ring in our right hand ring finger glittered new ;-)
Not even a week left for him to say bye.We had to plan something,sometime together and some sharing was essential in this period .
I had not applied for leave today and my presence at office was must... Amidst this , I had to find time to meet him..

How? Where? When?

I was wondering ! Then, I decided to board the 4.P.M bus like during our previous secret meeting. I got into bus and informed him. He ensured he will not be late today :P Unfortunately, even today I had to wait but this time I take the blame. My poor knowledge about location made him reach late :-) I was waiting at the point he had parked the car last time .I had wait for five minutes this time for him to come.


It was so hot outside and I wrapped my head with my dupatta to cover my head from direct sun .

He was over call and told me he reached :)


I was searching for the same red Swift but for change this time he had come in the Black;-) .


He had already reached and spotted me first :-) I entered and felt so relaxed after the wait in hot sun. He took me to the same Mithai shop and this time I ordered Paav Bhajji (The sentimental dish me and two of my close ones share and eat together in one plate) . He ordered for a tea . He had missed his mom's special tea as I was waiting ;-)

For the first time shared Paav Bhajji with a person other than those two ;-) and for the first time we experienced literal sharing ;-)


Our next destination was the same old park where we first spent some silent hours :-) But this time we did little talking :-) Nice time which I cant explain and elaborate :-) There were lots of unmarried couples sitting in stone benches and I hesitated to take such a posture in that park.We were engaged officially still a little fear ;-) (What will this so called civilised society think)The feel was awesome :-)

We sat in a stone bench.... Talked a little extra than our previous meets. Time was running so fast and now it was time for me leave so that I can reach home like I reach when I take my office transport service :P

As we started walking,he offered his hand to hold and I was surprised when he did it without any hesitation in the crowd unlike his usual nature ;-)

I was thinking how romantic he is... "Holding hands and walking at night in a park under dimly lit street lights and trees on either sides of the foot path" But his reply to my smile made me realise it was his humour ;-) He told me that, just to avoid me marching with my hands swing in full action in the park, he offered the hold ! Ha ha ha
This little piece of comedy in our meet still remains fresh and I love the moment which made me feel his humour and romance :-)

It was then I realised that he had good sense of humour and was little romantic at the same time ;-)


We started off from the park and unfortunately we reached my area early than my usual office time. Anyway we got some more extra time together though inside car ;-) Yeah!! We were in car till the clock stroked the exact time. I'm not sure if someone would have noticed the Black i20 roaming in the same route twice at this night time...

The time had come for us to say bye for the day .

A feel of excitement about the next day's plan overtook today's feel of leaving :-)

The day was complete for us with our final handshake and wave :-)

New Born Love - Chapter Five

Finally the most awaited day has arrived...........

Was it planned??????? Can things happen so very well without proper planning????
Relevant questions for an irrelevant situation ;-)

People were busy at home getting ready with the routine.. I was njoying the monday morning.Rarely I get leave on mondays :P People were asking me to get ready and get along with them for that day's planned formalities.I somehow made myself brisk, got up and made up my mind to wear Indian Traditional Costume - Saree (which my uncle got for me to wear on this special day)

People were coming home and I was yet to dress up. My neighbour aunt assured me that she would help me wear saree.I was holding the saree and was going to the door opposite to ours (nieghbour's house)when came in a man with professional camera... I was surprised ;-)

Things were so serious,I then realised .I got ready soon and had to wear a bit extra jewellery cos of my well wishers compulsion ;-) Then started the photo session and in sometime, things were ready.Our hall which we felt conjusted was now looking so good and spacious. I owe a special thanks to our neighbour uncle who provided space in their house to place our space consuming dining table and chairs from the hall :-)
Time was getting closer and he arrived with his family.I came inside our bedroom when I saw them stepping into our home... People surrounded me and wanted me to lit the lamp.It was then my heartbeat increased... will I b able to lit it with a matchstick when my hands are shivering? Will it blow off immediately.. lots of weird thoughts were going on in my mind.I was denying to go to hall... was it my Shyness? My Tension?? or.... I dunno but people had to pull me to hall jus to light the lamp that was ready.Thanks to my uncle who had candle ready :-)

To my surprise our costumes matched each others... It was perfectly lovely coincidence :-)
My uncle's dad - Elderly person amidst the crowd took care of the formalities .Our hands were shivering though we were smiling for the photos during the Ring Exchange Ceremony. Atlast the moment has touched our lives...The tradtionally decorated and lit lamp, the smell of Indian agarbathis and happy smiling faces added flavour to our special moment...

The formalities along with little informal gift exchanges happened followed by lunch, photo session and discussion about the next step. Finally the date was fixed !!! Exactly eight more months to go for our Big Day !

Then was the photo shoot and little chat with him :-) It was time for him to leave and this time he was not in the same red swift but in black i20 ;-)

Gave a smile and moved on....
The day was really wonderful and colourful...

It was a mixute of Suprise, Anxiety,Happiness and many more emotions overflowing together at the same moment... No words to describe!

Then it was all Smiles :-)

New Born Love - Chapter Four

The most planned and expected day of our life !

Loved being in tradtional attire today... There were little interesting plans done to make minor escapes from the routine and things happening around....

He came in the same red Swift today but took a different route just to ensure we escaped the sight of our well wishers ;-)

I was in traditional wear and he in western casuals... :-)

As planned we drove to our planned destination. The climate outside was so hot and the traffic was heavy but in our destination , atmosphere was so cool and free ... could feel the power of the Indian chants... Smell of the camphor was taking us to a different place... Little lamps lit around gave the place a holy feel...

He lit a lamp and whispered in my ears "I'm doing it for US" ...It was then I felt the power of the word "US" :-)

Little time we spent in the heavenly atmosphere and started from there.....

Next he took me to places where he already decided to ... He always made sure I got the best and what I liked... I was surprised,excited and loved each moment...

He had planned many things in advance :-) I felt lucky to be with him....

My mobile was shouting with messages from my sisters enquiring as my location and time I would reach home .... Concern !!!!!!!!!!

As promised he dropped me at home at the right time...The most awaited day was nearing .. was just hours away and we both were least bothered ;-) Who cares it when heart has already decided ... The formal decision making alone was left out which will be happening in few hours time :-)

In short, the day was wonderful and colourful too...

From hot sun to cool holy place of God..Then little shopping with him and then a long drive back home............. Awesome day :-) Can explain it in detail to make it more clear but certain things unexplained adds beauty :P

Absence & Silence Killing Me

Have never been alone but have experienced loneliness amidst a crowd many a times.....

When I got a hold while walking through the toughest path, I experienced the great feel of true relationships amidst thousands of "Hi-Bye buddies" I had ....As I walked along with my close ones with me, I was the happiest on earth and now when those close ones moved to their destinations leaving me though not by heart, I experience the worst pain which I cant explain in words....

Sometimes these blog posts give great relief to me :-) These posts might not solve my problem, these might not help me or give me strength but for sure these gives me great company :-) A solace when I'm filled with the feel of loneliness,irritation,sorrow and .......

I know u had to leave me to reach your goal,

I know you have the same true feel in your heart for me,

I know you too long to meet me,

Stillllllllllllll...

Your absence pricking my heart...........

I know you are busy and pressured at work,

I know you are trying to find time to talk to me,

I know you are expecting me to understand you,

Stilllllllllll...

Your Silence is killing me.............

Both my hands were once busy with love and affection in each...

Love in left and affection in right,

But now, My hands are free

Searching for a hold...

I know Love & Affection remains the same,

Still... I'm feeling the missing....

I don't blame you dears for leaving me,

I don blame you both for not sharing with me,

But I'm telling you..."I'm missing you"...

Don worry dear.. I know you too feel the same ...

I know your time constraint,

I know your work pressures,

And I know you expect me to understand you and your situation,

Still...,I cant resist saying...

"I'm angry on you....Your Absence and Silence increasing the intensity of my Anger!!!"

Love & Affection....

Once you both were holding my hands but now I'm longing to hold you,

While walking along, I loosened the hold assuming you will not leave me ,

But by the time I realized I need you, you were no where around...

I'm longing to get you back into my life :-)

Waiting for that Miracle day when I will be holding love in my left and affection in my right hands....

Miss you both :-)

New Born Love - Chapter Three

The next move :-)

Our Planning could not be implemented....But unplanned meet was our official meet ;-)

He came home with his family after our ususal dinner time :-) I prepared juice and served them but while I was at kitchen, I could hear ppl teasing me that included both my moms ;-) Even I couldnot resist laughing as always :-)

There came in our family frens in curiosity and they wanted to know if we had already met ... I jus rushed into my room with my sister and were laughing over the question...He managed answering the question somehow :-) Then I entered the room and when the same question was pointed to me I too had to reply...We didn't even get 5 minutes alone :-) and this response of mine gave us a chance to talk alone...

Then we went to my room and he was having a look at my room as how my explanation coincided with the explanation and description I gave
:-)
Little shyness, little sharing and little exchanges of smile ....

Not even 5 minutes and his sisters entered the room with a smile ..rather giggle I can say :-) We njoyed that too...


Atlast the official meeting was over and they left soon happily.. I could sense the feel of happiness in all their faces :-)

Loved the visit :-)

New Born Love - Chapter Two

Fun Friday !!!

For the first time I made myself out of the event at my floor :-)

Started out in early shift bus...It was too hot outside...Enquired our driver if the bus would go via the place I decided to get down to meet him. Confirmed with the driver to tel me when to get down as I was not familiar to that place though I had been via that route n number of times during my college days... Occupied front seat unlike all times so that the driver could intimate me about the location...

In few minutes saw one of my friends stepping into the bus unexpectedly... made sure still my last row seat was empty and went there as I had my friend to intimate me about the place I need to get down!

Time passed away with few minutes over call, few minutes chat with my friend next to me and few minutes of sleep ;-) ... Traffic was heavy and so reached the destination fifteen minutes late . My late coming was least bothered as I had to wait for another fifteen minutes in the bus stop expecting a car on the way to pick me :P

Calls informing the start, traffic block on the way and at last the reach was the only solace amidst the irritating wait ;) Had to take few steps to have a look at him inside the car parked in the left
Got into the car and felt so relieved from the hot sun outside :-) No energy to even smile :-) but felt so good at heart...little ride in car and we entered a restaurant .. I washed my face just to get back my usual smile...Then we went to a table and he asked me to order . I ordered my favorite Strawberry Milk Shake :-) and he ordered Mango Milk Shake for him.

We were sitting in opposite chairs and he was looking into the photos in my mobile. I was explaining him each scenario where in those photos were taken.He requested if I could come adjacent to him so that we could have a better discussion with those photos... Spent little time sharing few things... Sharing was so good :-)

Strawberry Milkshake and Mango Milkshake was now empty... We moved out of the restaurant and then a small drive to a park near by... Spent more than two hours in the park sitting on a stone bench... There were families walking by, kids playing,couples busy taking photos near the fountain and oldies in for a walk in the evening breeze...

Time passed away in silence... He was surprised to see me silent and tried lot to pull me out of the silence but most of the times I smiled and smiled :-)

It was time to start back home...We started and it was a slow dirve then as we had enough time to reach :-)

This time, maximum was silence, then smile and little sharing :-)

Waved a bye after shaking hands and got down and walked towards my gate. He waited to see if I was safe to reach and started his car and waved a bye as I entered the gate and we left with an awesome feel in my heart .

The empty road and the lack of enquiry phone calls from my home made our plan a SUCCESS !

New Born Love - Chapter One

For the first time I loved wearing salwar and getting ready with new hair style and kajal in my eyes :-)
Unlike all times , I had a wide smile to go out in the eve that too in the traffic headed roads....I couldnot believe myself :-)
Felt the change in me .......

Rushed to my bus stop crossing the heavy traffic with mobile on hold...


I don't want to bring in any dialogues in this page as I feel the true essence would be missed in that case.. ;-)

There came a red Swift from behind and I turned back and smiled at the front glass window as if I could see the person inside driving from such long distance ...I cut the call when I realised he too saw me :-)

The car door opened and I entered in without any strange feeling...Felt so familiar .. Don't ask me car or person ;-) He handed over me a pack as I sat down....Felt good that we started sweetly ;-) Yes..that was chocolate pack he gave me :-) I placed it in the back seat :-)

As the car moved both of us looked at each other making sure our eyes didn't clash or looks didn't coincide ...Just tried to get the same feel as in our calls and video chats.. I mean the closeness :P Few minutes passed and our phones were ringing for the next few moments as all our well wishers were eager to know about our meet .


In another few minutes when silence was over taking us.. he switched on the music... I was surprised to hear one of my favourite songs... I started blabbering my love towards that song and the next song surprised me as that too was my favorite and later he told me , he had the collection of my favourite songs that I had once mentioned in my blog .

Time passed by ... traffic made us spend maximum time inside the car, then visit to my would be sis in law's house , little sharing about ourselves to eachother and while returning back home in the busy roads.... he asked me to switch on the music n play any song.. I just played one of my latest favourites that I have not updated in my blog and told him, even this is my favourite...he told, he took it from my blog without realising that this song was not in my favourite list in my blog ;-)

He then told he had all the songs in my blog and few of his favourites in the playlist ...I felt so so so...........(no words ;-) ) when I came to know the song now going on was OUR favourite .... favourite coincidence song :-) loved it.......


"Kannorum Kaathal Vanthaal Kannerumthithipaakkum..."

Lyrics seems apt for the situation as Mom's warning in between our meeting and the tension cos of it had vanished and it was nothing compared to the moments we spent together !!!

It was an unplanned meeting but we loved it :-) Jus few minutes together that too inside car in the heavy traffic still the togetherness gave life to those moments :-)

It was time to leave...
Same place where I got into the car....
Same place but now the road was not so busy and the street lights were on..
I opened the door and stepped out.. Something was missing...

A final touch??????

Dunno if I initiated or he did but for a second our hands were held together....

Yes!!! A Handshake atlast :-)





A hold that had "The joy of moments spent together" and "The sorrow of leaving alone with memories of the moments".... The feel was awesome :-)



The missing factor was a part of my emotion/senthiments/love/affection/care that I gave him through that handshake :-)

Awesome Feel

Many a times, Silence had touched my heart...........

This time..It was not silence but.......

There was a difference this time....

My loud stern voice had become sweet whispers....

My hard hits had becomes loving pats....

My words in text messages came out in my own voice....

And my bold facial expression for a moment experienced shyness...

I could not believe my self and the soul with me was turning the world around blind for a moment :-)

Loved the Moment.... !!!

No Light and Hence "NO SHADOW" ! - Not Dark Though

Same busy roads... mild breeze and the light ray from buses and lorries cracking the morning darkness!!!

.
Me Speaking :

.
This time, I was alone and he was alone .. both heading towards our opposite directions without any analysis of the path and destination !

.

Essence

.

It all started with a wonderful relationship and the trial was in transforming it into another wonderful relationship but that transformation failed and spoiled the existing sweet relationship . The focus was taken just to two hearts and selfish ideas.... When the focus widened,

hearts had to accept the reality..." Everything happens for a reason " !

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Our Chat

.

Walked together a little distance...

" Lets end up... I hope that will make your heart light " He was so clear in his thoughts.
"....."
Trust Me?" He looked at me.
"Yes!" I assured looking at the ground.
"Can you come with me then? " His heart gave me a hand to hold on..My heart felt it!
"....."
"I understand......" He was so cool though heart beat was fast
"hmmmm"

As always, something interrupted.... This time that something was "Parveen Travels Bus"

Ring..Ring..Ring...
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Shadow Speaking

.
She attended the call with out even a Hello.
"I'm sorry" His voice touched her heart.
"There is nothing to be sorry..."Her voice was emotionless.
"Gonna miss you.... our friendship.."
"........"
"I'm sorry!"
"No more sorry.. I did a mistake..You did one .. both of us have done a mistake n now lets correct it..."
"But ... will miss our friendship "
"I need time to come out of this and u need much more time than me... lets take a break... I'll ring u back one day... sure" She assured.
"hmmmm"
"U must be fine always ... else I myt feel guilty...pls take care"
".........."
"............."
"hmmmm"
"Shall I disconnect the cal?" her voice trembled..
"No..hold on.."
"......"
"Hmmmm.... I'm leaving today ..."He informed his absence from now on..
"hmmm take care..."
"Hmmm.. bye .." His voice trembled now...
"bye.."She could not control her tears..
"Bye..See you" He kept the call weeping...

SILENCE over took both their lives then!

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Our Hearts Speaking

.
Is it the Starting Point or the Finishing ????

Whatever! We End it with a smile :-)

.

* Sometime it pains when someone stamps on our SHADOW :-)

** Most of the times affection,care,closeness and true understanding has been mistook as L**E

.

Angel or Devil ?

Why am I giving up at the first level :-(

I knew I had to struggle a lot.. I did struggle but after all these, Why am I giving up so easily?Should not I try the next level of struggle too???
Was this the role almighty gave me? Or........ Am I becoming so selfish?

The Play just started and from the moment the announcement was made, I'm killing people... I was told, I'll be an angel in the Play but after few minutes of the play..I doubt if I'm an angel or a devil... I declared my self Hero at first.. Smiling at people, Holding them close to my heart and giving my shoulders to who need me.... in course of time,... Is it cos Mr.X dint turn up I'm supposed to take his Villain role too? My God!!! Great transformation from Mr.Hero to Mr.Villain.... Was promised an Angel role, but played the role of a Hero who became the ultimate Villain unknowingly which made me the DEVIL of the play!

Once , the play is over... I end myself as an EVIL SPIRIT with no Guilt :-) ! If I wanna end up as an ANGEL , I will have to wait till all my guilt's are washed away... dats lil difficult ;-)



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No Cross Questions..Content may seem completely irrelevant & non sense !

Yes..Its my non sense put up as words ( Jumbled words ;-) with no meaning and grammar )