நீ வருவாயா...

ஒரு நிமிடம் நான் யோசித்தேன் இன்று நான் உன் அருகில் இருந்தால் என்று,

உன் கை பிடித்த சில நிமிடங்கள் மௌனத்தை ரசித்திருப்பேன்...

சுத்தி பார்க்கும் இடமெல்லாம் இருட்டாக தெரிந்தாலும் ,

வெளிச்சமாய் உன் வார்த்தைகள் என் அருகில் எப்பொழுதும் இருக்கின்றன!!!

Come back Just Once

10th September 2010

If I could get the fragrance of the ROSE,

I was holding so close to my heart ...

If you could just hug me once,
If you could just kiss me once,
If you could just come into my life once again...


Just once,
If you could come back to my life,
To spend the moments of love,
To get back the past few memories together we spent...

Just once ,
I wish to hit the rewind button of my life...

I'm Selfish

Every human is selfish !

Selfishness : I dunno how to define it or describe it but let me try to put few points to bring out its soul. Jus a try !!!

1. Least worried about what is going around
2. Concentrates only on stepping up though it has to stamp others
3. Only goal is to reach the destiny as planned
4. Uses others to reach the goal
5. 100% Self Centric

Every human is Selfish and the one who argues NO is the most :P


Let me take up the role now... It's just a ROLEPLAY :-)

-------------------RolePlay - Curtain Raises-------------------

If you find this roleplay resembling real life, then you know what is being SELFISH


Guys you know , it is most important to achieve your goal as planned.Planning is very essential in any project we take up and once planned, we should make sure it is executed very well on time.

When I start doing a task, I make sure no matter what happens, I finish the task on time.I'm least bothered if my team mate / neighbour is ill and hospitalised.All I want is to complete my task well in advance and get client appreciation.
The few moments I spend for my team mate or may be my neighbour who is hospitalised means a lot than the client appreciation.. I know this but my focus is on my work,its completion and appreciation.

"I can visit the hospital little later right?Anyway Peolpe are there to take care of him right? Moreover he is almost fine... "


When I feel that I'm handicapped in certain technology I go behind experts to work on it. Many a times I feel those people are wasting their time and efficiency in some unwanted activities.I feel my task to be important and best than theirs. I make it a point no matter what, I get it from the experts at the earliest.This is why I make and have n number of frens.Many of them are techies.. ;-)

"I don't mind telling a Hi to a worst character I encountered just to get my work done..."

Whether I trouble my "So called Friends" for helping me in my work or my "Life partner" not to bother me with personal homeworks, I see to it that my work is done on time.Yes! Achieving the Target is my goal. I'm least bothered if my fren needs my help while I'm at work and also I expect my lifepartner to take care of all my personal works when Im committed with this work.Let my life partner go to relatives or frens home if she/he needs some extra care and help at those peak working hours of mine.I don't want my lifepartner to interfere in my work.

"I'm doing all these just for him/her right? He/She sould be proud of me."

Relatives and close friends...I love them but when it comes to my work,I prefer them to be little away :P people may call this is an escapism from responsibilities or relationships but I don mind those things :-) All I want is my work to be done perfectly on time .. or rather well in advance ! My focus is on getting appreciation for my work.

"Relatives and Friends will always be there.They will not mistake me .They will rather understand I'm busy."

I always take care of my interests,desires and my favorite activities.I'm not bothered if my laugh hurts others.After all laughing is good for health .. ;-)

"I want to go for it.After all its my life..Why should I bother about others? "

This statement might not seem selfish but it is a 100% selfish statement :-)

"Ok.. I'v got some work now... I'm least bothered as what you think about me .Anyway we are not gonna meet too so why shud I waste my time for the one whom I dunno and whom I have no plans of meeting . So byeeeee ."


-------------------RolePlay - Curtain Lowers-------------------

Okay.. Now I'm removing the mask and coming out of the Roleplay...

Yeah!!! People are really self centric. We always tend to think from our perspective and act accordingly.How many of us put ourselves in others shoes and take a decision? If we wear third person's shoe and take a decision, for sure that will change once you remove it! That is human nature.But the correct decision will be taken when we know the pain of others and walk through without stamping them.it's very difficult though...

Selfishness is a Human character and the percentage of that character in each human differs !!!

"I" , "Me" and "Mine" should be lessened to lower the percentage of Selfishness in every humanbeing... Yeah avoiding it completely is impossible ;-) !


Selfishness is something about which we can write, talk and argue a lot but very difficult to cover those in a paragraph :P

Consider the world, all humanbeings, animals , planatation and the entire nature to be your own.
Be selfish !!! Make sure no matter what comes your way, you don leave the world to destruction,keep holding all humans, animals and other livingbeings close to heart..They are your own... Safeguard plantations....They are yours...Protect nature...it's your...

Declare every human as your own..rather consider all to be yourself and be SELFISH!!!


I'm not a saint to advice,or experienced person to guide or GOD

Even I'm one among the Selfish humans but I realised the points where I'm being selfish and now trying to reduce it :-)

Just a TRIAL :-)

2 Hours of Spring

The clock stroked 4.30 again....

This time it was not the Sun rise .

She was over call wondering where he was and she was little tensed as she was alone and the Nadiad station was becoming crowded.She was new to Nadiad Junction railway station although she had been living in Ahmedabad for more than two decades.

"Hoi...." He patted her shoulder from behind.

"Heyyyy.... hi..." She could not talk anything more at that moment.

Was that moment a Miracle?

Both felt that private Hi to be a Miracle because they never expected that meeting till that moment :-)

That might not be so private for others but for them it was so private as it was their hearts that said HI .

"Shall we go to Ahmadabad Junction ? Will take you to my favorite Mithai shop. We will get tasty gulab jamuns there. You can get into Gujarat Express from there"

"Hmmmmm... sure…" She could not say NO though she was tired and dint have time to spare roaming.

The local train to Ahmadabad was really crowded but they got a personal space there too.Two hearts did the conversation amidst the 100s of people rushing in and out at each stations. For the first time she felt comfort in that standing posture in a crowded train. It was a Miracle for her .Thank god mobile phones had signal problem while in train, he thought.

15 minutes of silent conversation!

They got down at Ahmadabad station and walked towards his favorite Mithai shop. Unfortunately or fortuanately ,it was closed unlike all days. They were compelled to get into a nearby restaurant.

Candle light dinner effect!

Yes! The next Miracle... :-)

Dim lit lamps, Old Hindi melodies and the feel of two hearts gave the moment candle light dinner effect . Arjun ordered for his favorite Dhokla and Nita samosa. For the first time, they sat in adjacent chairs :-)

"Nita... this is the first time we are sitting like this" Arjun just muttered in her ears.

"Shall I go and sit in the opposite side of the table?" She just smiled and clarified.

"Hey.. No.... I can’t face you “he stammered.

They both enjoyed the silent rhythm of their heart, light melody played and the sound of their breaths... They were at the peak of their emotions.

Ring ... ring.... Arjun's mobile vibrated.

"Ma... Mein sade aath baje pahunch jaavunga" Arjun confirmed his mom that he will reach in an hour’s time.

"Nita...."

"Haan...."

"I will have to start in some time.... Mom is waiting"

"Hey.. even I’m getting late" Nita looked at her watch.

"hey.. Nita... I have somethin to show you..." Arjun came up with his old memories...

Yeah..his childhood album from his bag . Nita went through each and every photo and she felt, she was getting in deeper.He was explaining each photo like a small kid . A kind of feel that cannot be explained in words. Arjun's enthusiasm in getting that album and showing each photo with explanation made the Next Miracle! They had reached that comfort level so soon unknowingly :-)

"I love you..." he whispered in her ears.

"Hey... " She could not tell anything more.

They left the restaurant and went to the Railway station, Platform 2. Nita was waiting for her Gujarat Express . With a completely different rhythm of their hearts they sat on the nearest Stone bench. Nita placed her hands on either side of her lap on stone bench and looked at the track in the front. He was looking at her eyes so keenly and was talking . Ten minutes of silence passed .Both their eyes were about to let down tears and heart was beating so fast . Nita wanted to change the scenario but she couldn’t.She was trying to be under control.

"If you could just hold my hands once... one kiss... a hug while I get into train... and a bye with tears... " Nita's heart spoke to herself.

" No Nita... Control... control..just few more minutes control karna...." her heart convinced her.

His heart was going out of control.He knew it but he didn’t wanted to control it at this moment.Without much thought, rather without even realizing that they were in the crowded Ahmadabad railway station,he placed his right hand on her left hand . A warm touch on her left hand placed on stone bench... She just felt the warmth and looked at him. He just looked at her eyes.She could not say or do anything but just feel the touch.He filled the gaps in between her fingers. Yes!!! He was holding her hand and she without hesitation held it tight.

This hold spoke a lot!!!

Conversation of their hearts went on...

"I Love You..."
"Me toooooooooo..."

"Hey... Don leave me.."

"I'm there always..."

"Is it so late?"

"No...never late… at least now we are feeling this.. Its great feel"

"yeah.. I'm loving this..."

"Shall we be here like this for few more minutes..."

"hmmmm..." she could not deny..

Their hearts made much such conversation

The Gujarat express at 7.00 interfered their conversation of hearts..

"Hey...” he broke the silence.

"Hmmm… tell me.."

"I Love You"

"Hey… love you too" her Voice was not audible though.

Their eyes took over for two minutes.

"hey....it’s getting late.."

"Hmmm... I wish everything becomes still for a moment"

"Hmmmm... I feel complete now."

"Hmmmm...."

"Hmmmm..."

She turned her head sideways just to hide the tear in her right eye trying to come out. He was holding her hand tight, tighter and so tight that she could feel his hand trembling. He felt her hold so tight that he lost his control and pulled her hand towards him to gift her the first kiss on her left hand.

The Magic of love made the MIRACLE

She was in an extremely emotional state. She dint expect that from him at that place at that time. He too never expected to do that.He was out of his control completely.
"Hey..." She held his hand still more tightly

"Sorry..." He told though not from heart.

"Hey... No sorry... "

"I feel guilty .."

"You need not... "

"Hmmmm.."

"I didn’t wanted to be the first person you kiss... that was my only concern"

"This is special"

"Hmmmmm.. I can feel it... Just felt let me not be the special one :-)"

"I love you..."

"I'm not able to speak even a single word" She somehow told those few words.

"You need not..." he held her firmly.

Gujarat Express arrived at platform # 2 and they had to say bye...

Both were controlling their tears and emotions very badly. She got up. He too got up but their hold was becoming tighter.He felt he would lose his complete control and so he left the hold purposefully with a heavy heart. She too had to leave the hold but felt if she could hug him once... But, It was the crowded Ahmadabad Station and that hug may turn things upside down. She rushed into the S4 compartment ,dumped her luggage in her seat and came running to the door to say bye to him but...

He had left the platform immediately when she left the hold.Tears were rolling down his eyes… he wanted to cry but rushed away...

She with tears in her eyes went back to her seat...
He took his bike and drove towards his house.

Beep … beep.... her mobile message tone broke the silence and darkness in the train.

"Nita..."

"Hmmm... I feel complete now... feeling happy.." She typed .

"We lived the real life"

"Yes... It was just two hours in clock but it was a lifetime for me."

"Hmmm.... I feel we have lived our life"

“We have lived our life completely and now we need to live for the ones who love us and need us in their lives”

“Hmmm…”

"Love You..."

"Love you too..."

"Shall we say bye now?”

"I don’t wish to but...I'm compelled to.”

"I know... You need not explain.”

"Hmmm... ok then...."

"The MIRACLE has at last touched our life"

"YES"

"Still wishing and hoping for Miracles to happen"

"Sure.. it will...So.. lets bid the last bye.."

"Not last... Miracles can happen"

"Hmmm... it should .. :-).. "

"Ok.. bye.. love you so much my...."

"Love you too... Take care... bye" She decided not to hold on to the chat. May be she fears to lose her control

"Bye.. Lets end with our usual smiley.. . :-) "

"Bye.."

":-)"

":-)"

She closed her eyes for a moment, let down the tears, took a deep breath and threw out the mobile through the window and closed it.

He started his bike from the place where he had stopped just to message her. On the way, he threw his mobile on the track and drove back to his home. He went to his bed, hugged his pillow tightly, let down tears and kept crying till he fell asleep with a sweet pain in his heart.

2 hours of Spring in their life … Moments that touched their heart and soul..
Was it just a dream or reality? Both couldnot believe it because they least expected those few magical moments in their life.It was a complete MAGIC.
MIRACLE !!!

Why did they throw their mobiles? Will they meet again ? Was that their last meeting? Who are they? What are they up to?

No cross questions in Miracle ;-) !!!

There is just one answer to all the questions!

Love...Love ... and Love only :-)

That made the Miracle !!!

My First Blog Site

I started this blog site very recently , i.e 2010 when my life took a new turn, a complete twist of my thoughts !!!

This blog - "Shadow of June" , will have a completely different style of writing...Rather I can say there will be a drastic change in thoughts presented but many might not find the difference so easily :P

Let me introduce my fisrt blog site ...

My first blog site : Shadow - http://shadow963.blog.co.in/

... has 5 Categories with 39 entries :-) . It was a complete Personal Emotional Package. Each entry will have atleast some relevance to the situations,emotions and incidents I have encountered in my life and there will be some extra spice ofcourse :P

It was when I felt , my blog should have something more than my personal emotions and issues that I started Shadow of June....

Any way my concentration or focus as always is on Human Emotions :-)

My interest of blogging took rebirth after a long time. So, like a Phoenix, the ashes of "Shadow "took rebirth as "Shadow of June" and in the month of July 2010 , I wrote my first blog entry in this site :-)

I dedicate "Shadow of June" to all who smile back at me :-)

Lock of Life

Eyes were wet but not cos of Sorrow....

Lips were wide smiling but not cos of Joy...

Heartbeat was fast but not cos of the missing...

Yes... This time it was....

Tears of Joy...

Smile to cover up the feel of Missing...

And

Heartbeat rate increased as the Intensity of the relationship increased...

It was the conversation of two hearts and

Life of two other hearts that played the game

Along with blessings of thosands of hearts!!!!

True feel was traversing through the three hearts smiling amidst the busy crowd around ;-)

MIRACLE

Though we WISH certain things to happen...

We might not EXPECT those things to happen in our real life....

But,

When these unexpected things happen as we wished.... it creates Magic!!!!

That magic is the MIRACLE of life.....

Emotional Quotient

When emotions overflow..

You loose your control...

You unknowingly happen to exhibit your original Character.... Rather ...

You wake the Sleeping YOU inside you ;-)

( A Simple Hug and Kiss means a lot when you get it from the right person at the right time)

When your emotions overflow ...

• Sometimes you keep laughing just to hide the pain ,
• Sometimes you shed tears when you get the right shoulder
• Sometimes you Shout at your own self

And...
Many a times you go MAD...

You dunno wat to type, wat to speak and you completely forget the world around.. You are least bothered about the things happening around ...

When will Emotions overflow???

Is it

• When you don get what you need?
• When you feel you are alone amidst the crowd?
• When you find none to hold on?
• When you feel a crowd of decisions and decision makers marching against you and your decisions?

Or

• Is it when you walk through the very toughest path of life?

May be many a times these reasons hold good but.....

The core or the base reason????

Toughest is the situation

When you miss a person you hold close to your heart and you very clearly know that person too feels the same.A situation were in both have the same feel, both express to each other but they find it difficult to come out of that emotional bondage! Yes!! Sometimes, coming out of such bondages are essential , IF NOT, the pain of missing will intensify and ofcourse this pain will make your emotions overflow... You will lose your complete control and your sub conscious mind will take over ...

YOUR EMOTIONS WILL FOR SURE OVERFLOW AT THIS STAGE !!!!

Really true and pure relationships will enjoy the pain of missing :-)

I wish to enjoy the pain though its tough...

Hug me once.. Kiss me once ... and Just let down tears once...

Later.. keep smiling... I'm in your heart... So smile always!!!

Crazy World

It is least bothered how I live my life ...

The most bothered matter is how the world looks at ME living my life...

Really Funny but Intense Truth

I'm also compelled to follow the crazy path though unwillingly...

Now, I decide to fight!!!!



Revolution of my Thoughts!!!!


Challenge !!!